I haven’t been looking forward to today.
As it reminds me of the utter failure I felt this time last year.

I had saved all my business money to take my husband and daughter to Cambodia to visit my sister. On checking in at the airport we were turned away as our daughters passport was 12 days under the 6months needed to be held on a passport when travelling to Asia.
My world collapsed. I felt an absolute failure. I was embarrassed. I felt stupid for not realising. We lost the whole holiday. We lost everything I worked for.
I sunk to a low I had never been to because not only did I let down myself, I’d let down my daughter.
We spent the next week sorting out a new passport, and then rebooking flights. I felt so lost.

We eventually went on our family holiday at the expense of our credit card. And although all our plans had changed, we had the best trip imaginable.

On our return we were on cloud nine.
Then our neighbour died.
Then my brother in law had a cardiac arrest and spent a lot of time in hospital.
And then Covid 19 happened and lockdown.

Boom. What should have started as amazing start to 2020, my year, the year I turned 40, had loads of amazing pieces of music to be played at concerts, the year of travel and fun all turned to shit on the 30th December 2019.
But I look back on it now and realise that without all that happening, I’ve had a good year.
We had an amazing holiday, my brother in law survived a cardiac arrest, I have played regularly on Thursday nights (orchestra rehearsal night) for the NHS, I have transferred teaching online, I have more than doubled my pupils, I have spent quality and quantity time with my family, I am more in tune with my needs, I created a brilliant beginner silver kit for people to do at home, I have had soooo many laughs and a fair few tears, I’ve helped create community in our village, I’ve lifted spirits with my T Rex walks.
There are so many things to be thankful for this year. But mainly that my loved ones are all safe.

I will forever be thankful for 2020 to making our loved ones safe.